Freedom is man’s capacity to take a hand in his own development. It is our ability to mold ourselves.
Rollo May, psychologist, author
As I get deeper into MBSR training, my understanding is that this idea of “molding ourselves” is perhaps at the heart of the mindful awareness required to live intentional thoughtful lives. Learning and practicing mindfulness helps free us from the tyranny of our miraculous brains. My nervous system is much quieter because I don’t take things so personally anymore. I can be mindfully responsive rather than ambushed by reactivity. I can feel connection to my heart.
My guess is that the buzz about the benefits of practicing mindfulness techniques has to do with that feeling of calm despite waves or tsunamis. Some well documented benefits can include strength and resilience, clarity and insight, improved health, less anxiety, and joy. Not bad for learning to sit still and pay attention on purpose without judgment.
It’s possibly why so many of us are seeking the practices of both mindfulness and meditation. We sit still so that we can still our mind. In that order. We keep re-minding our minds to focus on the designated object. That’s it. No big rigmarole.
In learning presencing, we are in our own Petri dish. We grow ourselves with wise patience, kindness, and compassion. I’m better able to recognize what my mind is doing these days. I can be witness to it, assess, and accept what I find and pause before I respond. I am free to choose how to respond in relationships, encounters, painful situations, or challenges for equanimous outcomes. Yes, of course, it takes practice.
Here are a few recipes for daily practice. As you do them, notice how you feel, what you are thinking, and what you resist. 1. Pause in middle of your day especially if overly busy and take a few slow conscious breaths in stillness with eyes open or closed. 2. Take a five-minute outside walk break (or longer) not just a stretch at the computer: look at the sky, smell the air, gaze at a flower, listen to the birds. 3. Do daily activities with acute awareness: showering, dressing, making your bed, or brushing your teeth. 4. Eat a few meals a week deliberately, slowly, sumptuously. 5. Notice a pleasant or unpleasant experience and where you experience it in your body. Observe. This is everyday mindfulness.
In Asian languages, the word for ‘mind’ and the word for ‘heart’ are the same. So if you’re not hearing mindfulness in some deep way as heartfulness, you’re not really understanding it. Compassion and kindness towards oneself are intrinsically woven into it. You could think of mindfulness as wise and affectionate attention.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor of medicine, founder MBSR