If you want to have loving feelings, do loving things. If you want to feel happy, compliment people.
Anne Lamott, American author, writing teacher
I loved Anne Lamott from the moment I read Bird By Bird her book I adore about writing. She’s a survivor, a twelve stepper, and spiritual seeker with a wicked sense of humor. In the November AARP magazine, she tells a little story about a recent moment of utter frustration, crankiness, and feeling befuddled because a 17-city book tour in 19 days at age 70 made her feel vulnerable and aware of aging. Real life in that moment felt uncomfortable, sad, and just unfair. We all have these moments of meltdown when our heads mess with us.
Thanksgiving can be one of those times; delicious moments or dour ones or anywhere in between. I’ve experienced the gamut of observances from amiable delicious feasts to ones that didn’t happen because of family fractures, gathering with friends without any family to ones all by myself.
Giving with awareness and intentionally is the focus today as we enter into the giving season. But how can I be generous when I feel needy myself? Part of the answer is the power of mindfulness medicine. Firstly, what’s going on in me. Then reminding myself of the spiritual principle that when we give kindness, caring, joy, love, compassion away at those very moments, we are the recipients of gifts beyond measure.
We all want and need blessings, to feel appreciated now and again, someone to hold or hold us. If we want to feel happy we ‘make someone happy’ (a great song from the 1960 musical Do Re Mi). We compliment someone when we want appreciation. When we could use a hug, we hug someone.
Practicing giving starts from our mindful recognition that we ourselves are feeling that cranky lonely business creeping up on our very human selves. We just remember to give ourselves away. Miracles might happen so watch out.
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese writer, poet, visual artist